Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Whatever this is SUCKS!

Having a panic disorder can be debilitating to say the least.
I have had this for years and have never been able to put my finger on what the problem is. Doctors say 'take tablets'. They can't actually tell me what is wrong and tell me there is nothing wrong with me apart from being stressed, depressed and suffering from panic attacks.
I have bouts of this horrible feeling! And although the panic attacks aren't as severe as they were years ago, the feeling in my head is still the same. Hypochondria is one of the things i suffer from....and strangely its not the stereotypical view of hypochondriacs we have. I really believe that i have some awful illness and contrary to beliefs i do not like feeling that way and it is not a cry out for help.
This stops me from enjoying i always believe the end is nigh. I haven't felt so comfortable in my working environment for a while now and really believe that its because of my current panic disorder. I am associating being ill with being at work and vice versa. Yesterday my head felt weird. Today my eyes are blured and my back hurts when i breath in and of course....i think i'm really really ill. I'm not quite sure what this is....but i hate stops me from being happy! And i so wanna be.
I just needed to share that!


  1. Have you tried meditating? Or finding some way you feel relaxed and in control....this can be so helpful in making you feel like you have some control over your body, your life and your happiness. Wishing you peace, love and light!

  2. Life is hard enough without the added stresses of not feeling well. Focus on doing the things you truly love and enjoy. I think your paintings are amazing!

    So Many Memories

  3. I am so sorry for you. I have seen others experience similar things - years of physical symptoms - worrying that they were dying - but ultimately tied into anxiety disorders. In their cases, medicine helped as did therapy to learn relaxation techniques, but it's also a constant battle because so much of it is tied into their personality. But if it's debilitating, I hope you can find a source of help.

  4. I had the same problem but mine happened because my stupid Psychiatrist put me as a 12-14 year old on a cocktail of medications that were ABOVE FDA approved levels and none of them were to be mixed with one another. I almost died after I called the cops myself saying I wasn't feeling right and the medications I was on was making me sick that I needed medical attention ASAP and I wound up having to be medically with drawled from them.

    I had major spinal surgery when I was 12 that started all this. It took one psychiatrist who was retiring the next DAY to find out I had hormonal imbalances and needed to see an OBG for Birth Control type medications. It's been three years and I am fine.

  5. feeling for you Cara , I have Irritable bowel syndrome, which when I have bad days really limits what I can achieve
    sending you a ***hug***

  6. My husband and I both suffer from hypochondria which really is a symptom of OCD. We are both medicated through antidepressants and they have helped him to be symptom free for years. I still have periods of depression and anxiety but nothing like I was before. Counseling can really help as well to help learn other coping strategies. I'm sorry you are going through this but it can get easier with help.